As a little girl, I was very free with my kisses. In one of my mom’s albums there’s a fading photo of me sitting on a homemade swing beneath a large oak tree with a tall boy standing behind me. When I recall that scene I recollect kissing him for taking the time to push me. I was two, maybe three.
Later at the ripe age of four I chased after ring-bearers to place wet kisses on their faces. And later I would drag these shy boys out onto the dance floor to boogie with me. I was a very popular flower girl.
Then something changed. I stopped kissing boys.
In fact, my thirteenth birthday was marked with deep despair. I was certain I was the only freshman girl alive to never have been kissed. Really kissed. A passionate, romantic kiss that makes your stomach drop and your heart pound and palms sweat.
Most of my freshman year was spent obsessing over this first kiss. And who would I kiss? Who would want to kiss me?
I had so many crushes, but couldn’t *really* imagine a situation where one of them would be “My First Kiss”. And then there was the one guy I absolutely adored. A senior.
I met him after school when I joined the drama club. He stood on stage with the other seniors, laying down the law for the newcomers. I was enthralled. And somehow we became friends.
I was always very aware that he was older, and more experienced. And while we’d flirt, nothing ever came of it. Of course, I spent all my time fantasizing about what it would be like to kiss him.
Until the last week of school.
One afternoon, after I thought he’d long gone for the day, he found me in one of the hallways, took my hand and led me to a stairwell. And that’s where it happened. My first *real* kiss.
And while it was nothing like what I’d imagined (no fireworks, no stomach dropping, no lightheadedness), in a way it was even better. With that one kiss, in that musty stairwell, he made me feel like I was the most special girl on the planet.
And for a little while I relaxed because I’d met a milestone. I was no longer the only girl in school who’d never been kissed.
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